I am trying not to be jealous

because I don’t have any reason to be.  Let me share the backstory.

Years ago–two Parliaments ago, I reckon–I promised myself that if the Parliament of the World’s Religions was ever in a place I could get to, I would go.  And this week it is going to be in Salt Lake City.

This week–the heart of the Samhain season.

Months ago, I thought long and hard about that earlier promise.  My finances were such that it was possible to get there.  So possible.

But it is this week, in the heart of Samhaintide.

I talked to friends who were going, who encouraged me. (Thanks to Macha Nightmare and Peter Dybing and Heather Greene and more more more.) I swear I thought so long on it and the possibility of it.

And then I prayed.  Truly.  Asked for clarity and truth and the sort of wisdom that can be tricky to acquire. The answer was clear-ish–do your work.

That seemed like confirmation–Parliament, here I come! But it became clear that that isn’t really my work right now, here in the heart of the Samhain season. My ego would love to wear some pretty robes and hang with interesting people and help Macha with the really cool play she’s doing.

Yep, my ego would love that so much. And she’d dine out on that for months, maybe years, to come.

So I decided to stay home and do my work.  And I’m not really jealous so much as I am sad to miss seeing all the wonders and beauties of a huge group of people coming together firmly in their own spiritual traditions and sharing what they do and who they are.

It is the best of us–loving, sharing, connecting, weaving community. It will be extraordinary.

But my work is here, amongst my people, in the heart of the Samhain season.

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2 thoughts on “I am trying not to be jealous

  1. I don’t consider Expressed Envy as a negative. I often tweet “I have envy” when someone is doing/has/or will do something I would love to own or do. It is sort of like saying “props to you” for doing/having this thing. It is an expression of truth. I am one of those witches who believes All Words Have Power…so expressing envy opens up the opportunity for something similarly cool to happen.

    I base my understanding of envy on Mulengro, as defined by Ly De Angeles (Australian Pagan Priestess/Writer). Mulengro consists of: Envy, Greed, Guilt, Denial, Dishonesty, Expectation and Assumption. (I think that’s correct, from older woman’s addled memory. ) It isn’t like the 7 deadly sins, but it is a great rubric to work with. And I am a Witch who loves a work-around!

    Saying it has not proved fatal yet. 🙂 VBG
    I have much work to do at this time too. My older brother joined the Ancestors on MayDay. City Druid as he was, honoring his journey is like programming a new code. A Samhain time Masterwork in progress. What am I doing online then?

    Off and Thank you,
    Belle

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